Top 5 unintentionally horrific videogame moments

 Caviar caveat: You will not often see top 5 lists on GameSteak, so enjoy. Also, this article is pretty rubbish.

With the recent news that Twitch are incorporating non-nudity rules into their policies, many hugely distressing and horrific moments have been momentarily side stepped: the potential of seeing a bare breast or, god forbid, penis in the middle of a COD stream, casually ignoring the stream’s intent to show countless pixel-people being murdered in the name of videogame war.

I cannot even tell if this lengthy sentence is sarcastic or sincere, but fuck it, whatever it is got me thinking of some of the other accidental ‘horrors’ in videogames; what follows is a hodgepodge of weird and wonderful moments that unintentionally send a shiver down the spine.

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Main Course: Infamous: Second Steak

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Infamous: Second Son. Well, what a f**king roller coaster. It’s like a ‘playing hard to get’ boyfriend /girlfriend (For you gender equality nuts); at first (s)he’s ignoring you and you can’t stand it so you try everything to grab his/her attention until you get bored yourself. As soon as you stop, he/she is clamoring all over you and you love it, you slag! But, this all comes back to that roller coaster analogy, it goes up and down really fast until it comes to a grinding halt…… heh up and down like… well you know what I’m childishly referencing.

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Main Course: Alien Isolation – a great stealth game riddled with parasites

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It’s been a long wait for a good game based on the Alien franchise, and after Gearbox stabbed the hearts of fans with a rusty Pitchford – sorry, pitchfork, the wait appeared eternal. Then Creative Assembly announced Alien: Isolation. Early impressions revealed it as a taught stealth game with an emphasis on survival, taking its inspiration from 1979’s Alien and games like Amnesia equally.

Isolation is a polished and faithful representation of the universe; the unassuming but somewhat speckled environments of the film transfer to videogames perfectly. The super-sharp visuals that sci-fi fans have come to expect and appreciate are present and in top form. Continue reading

Main course: Destiny review

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When I first sat down to play Destiny, I had readied myself with six A4 pages to jot notes on. After a few weeks playing I have only scribbled on three of those pages. This doesn’t indicate how good or bad Bungie’s latest is, but it certainly shows how little there is to say about it.

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League Of Steak

Have you played League of Legends? ‘Let me at it; bet it’s easy!’ First, you have to learn the basic premise: destroy the towers and kill anyone in your way. ‘Great! Got that, what’s next?’ Tactics, roles and lanes. ‘Nah F**k that I’m gonna wreck these noobs!’ Queue, a quick death and a tirade of, ‘WTF! Help me Fags! Fucking dicks gg rito* gt gang banged under tower we loose**’. Continue reading