Top 5 unintentionally horrific videogame moments

 Caviar caveat: You will not often see top 5 lists on GameSteak, so enjoy. Also, this article is pretty rubbish.

With the recent news that Twitch are incorporating non-nudity rules into their policies, many hugely distressing and horrific moments have been momentarily side stepped: the potential of seeing a bare breast or, god forbid, penis in the middle of a COD stream, casually ignoring the stream’s intent to show countless pixel-people being murdered in the name of videogame war.

I cannot even tell if this lengthy sentence is sarcastic or sincere, but fuck it, whatever it is got me thinking of some of the other accidental ‘horrors’ in videogames; what follows is a hodgepodge of weird and wonderful moments that unintentionally send a shiver down the spine.

Lip Synching

Let’s get this somewhat ubiquitous problem in videogames out of the way before we jump into some more specific entries.  Lip synching has been a horrific crime in videogames since 3D games stormed the 90s.

mariahlips

From Fallout to Alien: Isolation, lip synching continues to be just a little off and sends uncanny valley induced shivers down the spine.

 

LA Noire

LA NOIRE

Yet another uncanny valley offender, LA Noire’s ‘realistic’ mo-capped faces are just…  Well, the results range from doe-eyed rapist to smug asshole.  Both scare me.

LA-NOIRE-5

 

Ecco the Dolphin

ecco1031

Family friendly Dolphin game that a five-year-old me was very happy to play.  Until the game decided it was less Flipper and more Alien.

 

Seaman

Well just look at it.

seaman_3ds

And it asks you questions such as, ‘Do you think other people find you attractive?’  All sorts of no.

 

Nina Williams

Nina Williams, the hot blonde bombshell from the Tekken series, has scarred me since I first bought my first PlayStation.

l7ax

The problem was was not really with the render of Nina, but  the fact that all of the fathers of my friends and the older male members of my family would ogle and yell ‘Waaaay’ whenever Nina would rear her sharp and bumpy head.  The thought that I could one day be one of these men fantasising about a badly rendered blonde freaked me the fuck out.  And that’s what we celebrate on this day, human nature being truly horrific. Uhhh. Spine shiver.

 

Happy Halloween, fools.

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